There's very little to say. I still can't work properly. I hate it. But I haven't been able to figure out yet why. I am trying internet strike which means I'm not allowed to spend time online for more than an hour... which I blew yesterday... and will probably repeat today... and on tv strike, which is not so good idea considering I just borrowed the whole set of sex and the city from a friend. So maybe I kinda know why. And I've been feeling really ill lately, for about two days for real, just the days I've been finally started going to the gym again, and that really sucks because I'm not actually ill. I've got almost fever. To me not having fever is not being ill. But my body seems to think that making me feel like crap is sort of almost the same, but the only thing it achieves is for me to feel like crap and not able to go to gym, but I can't enjoy the luxury of just sitting at home and say, not going to work. Because I have no fever. I do feel really annoyed about this. It is so frekking typical.
Sorry for being so negative. I promise I get better when... I get better.
I haven't been around in a while because I've been doing a lot of thinking. I think I'm going this phase when I just do stuff and try to figure out why I do stuff, but I think it's because I'm really trying to find myself and my style... And blah blah blah sorry, I'm not gonna rant here XD I've managed to narrow down my works... Again. I want to start Catherine. Now it's only a matter of getting the time. As always. And I am writing a book, but I changed to another one, because all the others need more experience than I have... mainly from school and places, and all needs to get sorted out. This book that I'm doing now is actually little simpler, not saying it'll end up any smaller, but I have an area that I can control with the knowledge I have now, which is pretty crucial since I have no time or ability to actually do research for the stuff I need for the other books.
Ok, so my NaNo was pretty much dead on arrival. Maybe the idea will develop into a graphic novel, as so many have done lately. I don't know what it is, but it seems that my Finnish is really clumsy. Or the problem is using a US keyboard on one machine and a Finnish on another, so the bits an stuff are in different places. But I shall have to keep going. I feel like I'm climbing a big hill, tho this climb is not going to last a month, like with the other NaNoWriMo people, mine is going to be as long as it takes. For me to get something out and into the world. Maybe I should make it a nine month project I just know again what I want to do and it's wonderful! Also I managed to do more work so I'm feeling really happy. And tomorrow I might be getting my lamp up and I wont have to hit my head on the previous one I have hanging here, and I'm really glad about that too... And well lotsa things are sorta happy now. I'm gonna TRY and limit my working on only Catherine's Crosses, deviation thingsies and my portfolio and writing wise on Gabriel and Chiyo and Brin but you can always tell what happens when I decide something... it never really gets where I want it to
Gabriel: 98076 words (I prefer putting this one here... makes me feel more accomplished since my NaNo only got til 4107 words plus the little story I wrote 3681 words)
Mah NaNoWriMo has progressed to 2184 words! Awesome. Tho I know I'm sooo behind, since I spent half of yesterday at work, the other half freaking out about a piece of paper I misplaced and tearing my hair because of that, and sort of skipped the whole you-should-start-like-writing-dudette -thing and well continued to do that until about 22.00 this evening... due to the darn paper and pretty weird annoying personal iffy stuff. I'm still not going to take any stress from it. I'm going to write it as much as I can, if I wont keep up then I wont, and it's not going to kill me, but the point is that I would get back on track with actually writing stuff. And that's never easy. Unless I keep reading. And reading. And reading. And reading. Even tho this idea keeps sort of wanting to translate itself into a comic, but I think if I can't get the stuff right in writing I might just make it into one...
And Catherine is trying to force her way out onto paper, which is kinda cool. I just... can't come up with any more excuses right now. I have to go and bury myself.
I realized that when I started sketching Totem Soul about five minutes before I had to literally dash out of the door and head to work. It was awesome, and frustrating. Awesome because I managed to forget the whole have-to-go-to-work issue and actually start creating something, and when I got back I managed to continue it almost right away. Tho the frustrating bit was having to sit (or rather run around) at work and try to think how I could continue that piece sitting on my table.
I bought a few books... which is good because they're really inspiring and I know they're gonna help me to work again. Annoyingly I feel like I have to somehow pile up on stuff that I know I shouldn't need but I do still buy anyway, and somehow by buying it I feel like now I can work, almost as if I'm piling some sort of nest of things around me where it would be nice to sit and draw, and I know it shouldn't be like that. But well. Never let me go online shopping again Tho, it's good for reference. I've yet again remembered that referencing is fantastic. It actually works dammit! I'm loving it. I also bought a few films featuring Basil Rathbone and am really enjoying it. I should have more old school classic films, there's something really wonderful about them
And then I've gotten much much ideas for Catherine, I fixed the plot line and well anyone not liking it can go... and read something else. And I promise I'm gonna start working on my art trades too... asap. I promise. I have a few days off next week too so that should be good. I'm feeling positive. And as always, hoping that it lasts ^^
I... repeat myself
Gloomy
Stuck
I just know again what I want to do and it's wonderful! Also I managed to do more work so I'm feeling really happy. And tomorrow I might be getting my lamp up and I wont have to hit my head on the previous one I have hanging here, and I'm really glad about that too... And well lotsa things are sorta happy now. I'm gonna TRY and limit my working on only Catherine's Crosses, deviation thingsies and my portfolio and writing wise on Gabriel and Chiyo and Brin 
but you can always tell what happens when I decide something... it never really gets where I want it to 
Happy
Optimism
Tho, it's good for reference. I've yet again remembered that referencing is fantastic. It actually works dammit! I'm loving it. I also bought a few films featuring Basil Rathbone
and am really enjoying it. I should have more old school classic films, there's something really wonderful about them 
